Fortunately, the phrase “speak now or forever hold your peace” is rarely used in wedding ceremonies nowadays. Which raises the question why was it incorporated in the first place?
Like many Western wedding traditions, this question comes from Christianity and European customs.
In fact, the phrase is a shortened version of a longer sentence “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Phew, try saying that in one breath.
I got my license to marry people online. It’s kinda cool. I was marrying this sweet couple and when I got to “Does anyone object this marriage?” Someone did. The uncle of the GROOM. He stood up, said he objected because “I love you more than your girlfriend does! Marry me instead.” It was kinda weird. I am not going to lie.
anon , Photomandi/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was at an outdoor wedding. During the ceremony we get to the *’speak now or forever hold your peace’* bit and during the pause a squirrel had been walking across a tree branch causing it to crack, break, and fall to the floor. It was loud.
I turned to my wife and said *”I guess God is trying to tell us something.”* to which I got hit on the arm by her as others around us chuckled. Apparently I said it a little too loudly!
Turned out that squirrel was on to something. They split up after 5 years.
B0z22 , Maddie Franz/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Not an objection but I was at a wedding, the priest gets to the objections. The 3yoish daughter was the flower girl. Walks up the aisle, pulls the bride’s dress and whispers something to her.
Everyone was like…is the little girl objecting?
Nope. Apparently she told her mom she didnt feel good. That was about half a second before she threw up all over her.
makeitrain9789 , X L/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I objected at my cousin’s wedding.
The dude had hit her multiple times. He was and is generally a douchebag. Every time I had ever seen him he was drunk, and my cousin who I was previously very close with quit talking much and suddenly became very clumsy, falling down and hitting her face on things a lot.
I had no intention of going. Turned down being in the wedding party. Turned down going to the bachelorette party.
My mother and aunt begged me to go over my objections. I told them why I didn’t want to go. They made a bunch of excuses and told me it was just me being jealous.
Ended up going, explicitly to object.
The priest did the speak up or forever hold your peace. I stayed that I object because the guy is an abusing pile of s**t.
Everything went silent. One of my cousins and my dad walked me out. The marriage continued.
Nobody talked to me for about a year. Right after the d******d go arrested for hitting her in the face with a hand mixer because she made something wrong.
Turned out I was right. Yet they are still married even though he has been to jail twice now for beating her.
Downside is my parents wouldn’t talk to me for a long time. Now my mom apologized for not believing me.
i_am_your_dads_c*m , Hebert Santos/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
It originated in Medieval times when communication between areas was slow and tricky and record-keeping was anything but orderly. That’s why the Christian Church initiated the phrase to give some time for any legal issues in matrimony to appear.
This includes information like the bride or groom being already married, related, underage, or unbaptized. Because people are creatures of habit, this tradition has been included in ceremonies for generations and is still used to this day.
When the registrar was doing the whole “will you Mary take you Bill” bit there was a loud shriek of “BILLLLL!!!!!” Paused the ceremony and everyone was looking round to find the source. The source was a small baby using this opportunity to speak one of their first proper words.
disco-pandas , Pavel Danilyuk/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
In case you’re wondering, can the couple get married if someone actually says, “I object” – they absolutely can. The only obstacle to getting legally married would be if they are already married or a close relative. However, in strict, conservative religious communities, any objection can impede the approval of extended family and guests.
I didn’t go to this wedding but my father is a pastor and to this day claims this to be the craziest ceremony he’s done.
The couple wanted a redneck-but-not-redneck wedding. They rented him a big rich cowboy suit. Think Doug Dimmadome. They then proceeded to give him a holstered revolver with a blank in it and told him when he got to the “speak now or forever hold your peace” bit, the groom’s brother would stand up to object and they wanted him to pull the gun and shoot him. According to my dad, it was the stupidest request he ever had but it was fun and the crowd loved it.
AdventureEngineer , Brett Sayles/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Ok, my sister and her best friend went to a mutual friend’s wedding and they told me this story.
Everything was going normally and the bride walked down the aisle and it was all good. then the officiator asked if anyone had any objections and the best man came forward and just started roasting the bride like he held nothing back. so the groom got really upset and was like “why are you insulting my wife?” so the best mn answered “she’s not your wife yet” it went back and forth for a bit before the best man shouted, “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU DEREK!” the whole place went silent like in a movie. Then the maid of honour dragged the best man away and they continued on with the wedding like nothing happened.
Savannah_P_Frost , Omar Ramadan/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
A way to work through any potential threats in a successful wedding ceremony is to have premarital couples counseling. It provides the opportunity to put any issues on the table, work through them together, and begin the marriage on an honest and happy note.
The most dramatic objection came from a guy seated farther back in a church filled with people. He said the groom was still legally married to another woman in California — that a decree of divorce had not been finalized by the judicial system. Turns out the guy was correct — some glitch in the process prevented the divorce from becoming official, even though the groom thought it had long been resolved. Apparently, the man who spoke at the East Coast wedding ceremony was related to the groom’s wife, and the guy was intent on spoiling the occasion out of some bitterness he held toward the groom
Back2Bach , Pixabay/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was on wedding of my mom’s cousin (J). When the guy asked if there was any objections, the mother of J said: i never wanted my daughter to date such a a$$hole like him. Everyone started whispering and J was holding her tears back. I was something around 11 when that happened, still old enough to understand that J didn’t want her mother there. The mother had to leave, and the ceremony continued. After that a went to hug J. She was 20 at the time, really young. She started to tear up while hugging me. Imagine getting married, and your mother would talk sh¡t about your future husband, when she was this young, she seemed to regret going that fast. They are still married, happy and healthy, but if i’m ever gonna get married this is going to be my biggest fear. Tldr: the bride’s mother almost ruined the wedding. Few years later they are still married, happy and healthy.
Min_Nellie , Agostino Toselli/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
My cousin and her husband purposely had the priest skip that part because the groom’s mom had been trying to cancel the wedding. She’d threaten not to come, she tried canceling venues, tried booking her own rehearsal party for only the groom’s family, and started calling the bride’s guests saying the wedding was cancelled. I was a bridesmaid and our bouquets were the size of basketballs. I had a clear view incase I had to throw my bouquet at her in distraction in case she did try to object at any point in the ceremony.
_Winterlong_ , Anderson Santo/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was at my uncle’s wedding back in the ’90s. He was getting re-married and had three kids from a previous marriage. At the objection part, my cousin, who is his oldest son, yelled, ‘DON’T DO IT, DAD!!! They went through with it but got divorced like five years ago. They were married 20ish years though
loveyouhilaryduff Report
When asked if there were any objections, right on cue, the groom’s 2-year-old nephew squealed and banged his toy car on the floor a couple of times like he was trying to make a point. The marriage didn’t last. I guess he’s the only one who was perceptive enough to know
[deleted] , Huynh Van/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
At a friend’s wedding in 2003 he was asked if he wants to marry the bride >first name last name<. Without any pause he said no! Everyone was shocked, including the bride. It was like the world stopped turning for a second and dead silence together with severe tension was in the air. He then corrected, that he was there to marry >correct first name, last name< – the brides first name has been a wrong one when he was asked, but the bride itself doesn’t noticed (some guest did notice as well) The official then checked and it turns out he noted down the wrong first name, which would lead to them not being married if not corrected. They are happily married until today.
FrankfurtGermanGuy , Daniel Rocha/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
My MIL showed up to my wedding in a black funeral type fundamentalist Mormon looking dress in protest. She was supposed to wear purple, silver or teal to match wedding colors and had shown me two outfits she bought in those colors.
But she got mad at me for not letting BIL give the blessing at the rehearsal dinner because I wanted the actual pastor in attendance to do it and threw a fit and threatened not to come to the wedding. She ended up coming but in that funeral dress and frowned in all the wedding pictures and pretty much ruined my wedding.
anon , Keanen Geego Kilian/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Many, many years ago, the wedding was at the bride’s upscale residence. They had the rehearsal, and thought they had anticipated every possibility. When “the question” was asked it was too late to realize that nobody had thought to stop the cuckoo clock. “CUCKOO, CUCKOO, CUCKOO!!!” It was a good ten minutes before the laughter died down enough for them to finish the ceremony. The bride, groom and officiant chuckled their way through the rest of the ceremony. They have been married for over thirty years .
fredzout , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Yes I have. I was a Wedding Photographer about 20 yrs ago and the other guy showed up and Holy S**t I have never seen a group of Groomsmen beat the hell out of one guy like that. Then the Bride and Groom went somewhere with the Priest and the Maid if Honor came out and announced that the company was welcome to enjoy the meal at the reception, but please retain tour gifts as the wedding was canceled.
Red_Dog75 , Jeremy Wong/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was very young and barely talking when my aunt and uncle got married. When the priest asked if there were any objections, apparently I blurted out, “Uh ohh!” to a silent church audience.
I obviously don’t remember any of this, but there’s video evidence. And my family LOVES to bring it up every couple years.
downdirthills , Deesha Chandra/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Very small wedding, just family, and a few of us close friends. The guy performing the marriage asked if anyone objected, paused for what felt like forever (was probably like 45 seconds), and then said, ‘Are you sure? Like, really sure you don’t have any objections? All of us sat in awkward silence. Everyone knew it was a rough relationship, but the couple had not listened to anyone’s concerns. Three years later they are still married, although they were separated for most of it.
MissyTurtle , Trung Nguyen/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
There were no objections but at my cousins wedding, about 12 years ago, when the priest asked if there were any objections, my cousin who is a 6’5 bodybuilder turned to the crowd with his arms wide as if to challenge anyone to object. The whole place erupted with laughter. It was great.
Edit: For those who are asking, it was certainly intended to be a light hearted joke and was taken as such. It landed very well.
AviatorNine , Goran Vrakela/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Never witnessed one but I’m fully prepared to pull an objection stunt. Couple is poly, they tell their family they are good Christian monogamous. Family will disown them. Also the boyfriend is a manipulative narcissistic a*****e who only picked to be poly so he could cheat without repercussions.
I don’t care if I become the villain in the story, so long as I can topple this pos off his high horse I’ll sleep well.
LittleLegs1991 , Becerra Govea Photo/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Wasn’t necessarily and objection, but a friend of mine was getting married and his fiancées mother wasn’t invited. Idk all the details of why but from what I understood she sort of dropped her as a child for a few years then when she heard she was getting married she tried to show up. Anyways the mom and her boyfriend show up and makes a huge scene about how her daughter is getting married and she has a right to be there. She ends up getting pushed down the stairs by security because she was throwing punches at security trying to get into the chapel. It was a crazy experience.
flaccready47 , Becerra Govea Photo/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Fortunately, the phrase “speak now or forever hold your peace” is rarely used in wedding ceremonies nowadays. Which raises the question why was it incorporated in the first place?
Like many Western wedding traditions, this question comes from Christianity and European customs.
In fact, the phrase is a shortened version of a longer sentence “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Phew, try saying that in one breath.
I got my license to marry people online. It's kinda cool. I was marrying this sweet couple and when I got to "Does anyone object this marriage?" Someone did. The uncle of the GROOM. He stood up, said he objected because "I love you more than your girlfriend does! Marry me instead." It was kinda weird. I am not going to lie.
anon , Photomandi/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was at an outdoor wedding. During the ceremony we get to the *'speak now or forever hold your peace'* bit and during the pause a squirrel had been walking across a tree branch causing it to crack, break, and fall to the floor. It was loud.
I turned to my wife and said *"I guess God is trying to tell us something."* to which I got hit on the arm by her as others around us chuckled. Apparently I said it a little too loudly!
Turned out that squirrel was on to something. They split up after 5 years.
B0z22 , Maddie Franz/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Not an objection but I was at a wedding, the priest gets to the objections. The 3yoish daughter was the flower girl. Walks up the aisle, pulls the bride's dress and whispers something to her.
Everyone was like...is the little girl objecting?
Nope. Apparently she told her mom she didnt feel good. That was about half a second before she threw up all over her.
makeitrain9789 , X L/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I objected at my cousin’s wedding.
The dude had hit her multiple times. He was and is generally a douchebag. Every time I had ever seen him he was drunk, and my cousin who I was previously very close with quit talking much and suddenly became very clumsy, falling down and hitting her face on things a lot.
I had no intention of going. Turned down being in the wedding party. Turned down going to the bachelorette party.
My mother and aunt begged me to go over my objections. I told them why I didn’t want to go. They made a bunch of excuses and told me it was just me being jealous.
Ended up going, explicitly to object.
The priest did the speak up or forever hold your peace. I stayed that I object because the guy is an abusing pile of s**t.
Everything went silent. One of my cousins and my dad walked me out. The marriage continued.
Nobody talked to me for about a year. Right after the d******d go arrested for hitting her in the face with a hand mixer because she made something wrong.
Turned out I was right. Yet they are still married even though he has been to jail twice now for beating her.
Downside is my parents wouldn’t talk to me for a long time. Now my mom apologized for not believing me.
i_am_your_dads_c*m , Hebert Santos/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
It originated in Medieval times when communication between areas was slow and tricky and record-keeping was anything but orderly. That’s why the Christian Church initiated the phrase to give some time for any legal issues in matrimony to appear.
This includes information like the bride or groom being already married, related, underage, or unbaptized. Because people are creatures of habit, this tradition has been included in ceremonies for generations and is still used to this day.
When the registrar was doing the whole “will you Mary take you Bill” bit there was a loud shriek of “BILLLLL!!!!!” Paused the ceremony and everyone was looking round to find the source. The source was a small baby using this opportunity to speak one of their first proper words.
disco-pandas , Pavel Danilyuk/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
In case you’re wondering, can the couple get married if someone actually says, “I object" - they absolutely can. The only obstacle to getting legally married would be if they are already married or a close relative. However, in strict, conservative religious communities, any objection can impede the approval of extended family and guests.
I didn’t go to this wedding but my father is a pastor and to this day claims this to be the craziest ceremony he’s done.
The couple wanted a redneck-but-not-redneck wedding. They rented him a big rich cowboy suit. Think Doug Dimmadome. They then proceeded to give him a holstered revolver with a blank in it and told him when he got to the “speak now or forever hold your peace” bit, the groom’s brother would stand up to object and they wanted him to pull the gun and shoot him. According to my dad, it was the stupidest request he ever had but it was fun and the crowd loved it.
AdventureEngineer , Brett Sayles/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Ok, my sister and her best friend went to a mutual friend's wedding and they told me this story.
Everything was going normally and the bride walked down the aisle and it was all good. then the officiator asked if anyone had any objections and the best man came forward and just started roasting the bride like he held nothing back. so the groom got really upset and was like "why are you insulting my wife?" so the best mn answered "she's not your wife yet" it went back and forth for a bit before the best man shouted, "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU DEREK!" the whole place went silent like in a movie. Then the maid of honour dragged the best man away and they continued on with the wedding like nothing happened.
Savannah_P_Frost , Omar Ramadan/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
A way to work through any potential threats in a successful wedding ceremony is to have premarital couples counseling. It provides the opportunity to put any issues on the table, work through them together, and begin the marriage on an honest and happy note.
The most dramatic objection came from a guy seated farther back in a church filled with people. He said the groom was still legally married to another woman in California — that a decree of divorce had not been finalized by the judicial system. Turns out the guy was correct — some glitch in the process prevented the divorce from becoming official, even though the groom thought it had long been resolved. Apparently, the man who spoke at the East Coast wedding ceremony was related to the groom's wife, and the guy was intent on spoiling the occasion out of some bitterness he held toward the groom
Back2Bach , Pixabay/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was on wedding of my mom's cousin (J). When the guy asked if there was any objections, the mother of J said: i never wanted my daughter to date such a a$$hole like him. Everyone started whispering and J was holding her tears back. I was something around 11 when that happened, still old enough to understand that J didn't want her mother there. The mother had to leave, and the ceremony continued. After that a went to hug J. She was 20 at the time, really young. She started to tear up while hugging me. Imagine getting married, and your mother would talk sh¡t about your future husband, when she was this young, she seemed to regret going that fast. They are still married, happy and healthy, but if i'm ever gonna get married this is going to be my biggest fear. Tldr: the bride's mother almost ruined the wedding. Few years later they are still married, happy and healthy.
Min_Nellie , Agostino Toselli/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
My cousin and her husband purposely had the priest skip that part because the groom’s mom had been trying to cancel the wedding. She’d threaten not to come, she tried canceling venues, tried booking her own rehearsal party for only the groom’s family, and started calling the bride’s guests saying the wedding was cancelled. I was a bridesmaid and our bouquets were the size of basketballs. I had a clear view incase I had to throw my bouquet at her in distraction in case she did try to object at any point in the ceremony.
_Winterlong_ , Anderson Santo/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was at my uncle's wedding back in the '90s. He was getting re-married and had three kids from a previous marriage. At the objection part, my cousin, who is his oldest son, yelled, 'DON'T DO IT, DAD!!! They went through with it but got divorced like five years ago. They were married 20ish years though
loveyouhilaryduff Report
When asked if there were any objections, right on cue, the groom's 2-year-old nephew squealed and banged his toy car on the floor a couple of times like he was trying to make a point. The marriage didn't last. I guess he's the only one who was perceptive enough to know
[deleted] , Huynh Van/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
At a friend's wedding in 2003 he was asked if he wants to marry the bride >first name last name<. Without any pause he said no! Everyone was shocked, including the bride. It was like the world stopped turning for a second and dead silence together with severe tension was in the air. He then corrected, that he was there to marry >correct first name, last name< - the brides first name has been a wrong one when he was asked, but the bride itself doesn't noticed (some guest did notice as well) The official then checked and it turns out he noted down the wrong first name, which would lead to them not being married if not corrected. They are happily married until today.
FrankfurtGermanGuy , Daniel Rocha/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
My MIL showed up to my wedding in a black funeral type fundamentalist Mormon looking dress in protest. She was supposed to wear purple, silver or teal to match wedding colors and had shown me two outfits she bought in those colors.
But she got mad at me for not letting BIL give the blessing at the rehearsal dinner because I wanted the actual pastor in attendance to do it and threw a fit and threatened not to come to the wedding. She ended up coming but in that funeral dress and frowned in all the wedding pictures and pretty much ruined my wedding.
anon , Keanen Geego Kilian/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Many, many years ago, the wedding was at the bride's upscale residence. They had the rehearsal, and thought they had anticipated every possibility. When "the question" was asked it was too late to realize that nobody had thought to stop the cuckoo clock. "CUCKOO, CUCKOO, CUCKOO!!!" It was a good ten minutes before the laughter died down enough for them to finish the ceremony. The bride, groom and officiant chuckled their way through the rest of the ceremony. They have been married for over thirty years .
fredzout , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Yes I have. I was a Wedding Photographer about 20 yrs ago and the other guy showed up and Holy S**t I have never seen a group of Groomsmen beat the hell out of one guy like that. Then the Bride and Groom went somewhere with the Priest and the Maid if Honor came out and announced that the company was welcome to enjoy the meal at the reception, but please retain tour gifts as the wedding was canceled.
Red_Dog75 , Jeremy Wong/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
I was very young and barely talking when my aunt and uncle got married. When the priest asked if there were any objections, apparently I blurted out, "Uh ohh!" to a silent church audience.
I obviously don't remember any of this, but there's video evidence. And my family LOVES to bring it up every couple years.
downdirthills , Deesha Chandra/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Very small wedding, just family, and a few of us close friends. The guy performing the marriage asked if anyone objected, paused for what felt like forever (was probably like 45 seconds), and then said, 'Are you sure? Like, really sure you don’t have any objections? All of us sat in awkward silence. Everyone knew it was a rough relationship, but the couple had not listened to anyone’s concerns. Three years later they are still married, although they were separated for most of it.
MissyTurtle , Trung Nguyen/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
There were no objections but at my cousins wedding, about 12 years ago, when the priest asked if there were any objections, my cousin who is a 6’5 bodybuilder turned to the crowd with his arms wide as if to challenge anyone to object. The whole place erupted with laughter. It was great.
Edit: For those who are asking, it was certainly intended to be a light hearted joke and was taken as such. It landed very well.
AviatorNine , Goran Vrakela/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Never witnessed one but I'm fully prepared to pull an objection stunt. Couple is poly, they tell their family they are good Christian monogamous. Family will disown them. Also the boyfriend is a manipulative narcissistic a*****e who only picked to be poly so he could cheat without repercussions.
I don't care if I become the villain in the story, so long as I can topple this pos off his high horse I'll sleep well.
LittleLegs1991 , Becerra Govea Photo/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report
Wasn’t necessarily and objection, but a friend of mine was getting married and his fiancées mother wasn’t invited. Idk all the details of why but from what I understood she sort of dropped her as a child for a few years then when she heard she was getting married she tried to show up. Anyways the mom and her boyfriend show up and makes a huge scene about how her daughter is getting married and she has a right to be there. She ends up getting pushed down the stairs by security because she was throwing punches at security trying to get into the chapel. It was a crazy experience.
flaccready47 , Becerra Govea Photo/ Pexels (not the actual photo) Report