My brother was injured in a training accident in the Israeli army. It wasn’t life threatening but it was a pretty messy injury that needed immediate care. For some reason the base commander tried to hide the injury and refused to send my brother to the hospital. Instead he sent him to the camp medic who took one look at my brother and said “here, have some morphine and holy god I’m going to call for help”. My brother asked him to call my mom. My mom, a military police major at the time, commandeered a helicopter along with a squad of MP’s. She then flew up into Lebanon where my brother was based, landed in the middle of his base, ordered her way into the medical tent while setting the MP’s outside as guards, loaded my brother into the chopper and evacced him out. To be fair, she’s a great mom who usually lets us fail on our own, but you asked for helicopter parenting examples and it doesn’t get more helicopter parent than actually commandeering an armed helicopter to go take care of your son!
Prof. Holly Schiffrin pointed out that according to some research, helicopter parenting affects four main outcome areas, including the child’s psychological well-being (the level of anxiety and depression, for instance), their behavior (for example, alcohol and drug use), their social and relational skills (such as romantic relationships and friendships), and their academic performance or career goals.
“By far the most research has been conducted on the psychological outcomes and there are very consistent findings (although almost entirely correlational) that helicopter parenting is associated with more anxiety and depression as well as less satisfaction with life,” Dr. Schiffrin told Bored Panda.
“The primary explanation for this relationship that has been examined has been self-determination theory, which states that there are three pillars of everyone’s well-being including autonomy (being able to make your own choices), competence, and relatedness to other people, and helicopter parenting seems to undermine all three of the concepts.”
While discussing how helicopter parenting affects a child’s well-being by undermining the three concepts identified by the self-determination theory, Dr. Schiffrin provided an example that such parents often make choices for their children, this way reducing their autonomy.
“They also do things for their children that they should be doing for themselves, which reduces the opportunity to practice skills and develop competence, as well as sends a—likely unintentional—message that the parent doesn’t think the child is competent enough to do it themselves. Both of these dynamics seem to negatively impact how related the child feels to the parent and others.”
The parenting expert continued that the next most studied area has been the way helicopter parenting affects the child’s academic performance; however, research has provided mixed findings, as some studies suggest there’s a relationship between helicopter parenting and academic engagement, success, and entitlement, while others do not.
“There have been a couple of studies looking at careers, which have found maladaptive workplace responses to hypothetical scenarios as well as weaker vocational identity,” Schiffrin told Bored Panda.
“A newer focus of research has been on behavioral outcomes, which have typically found that the emerging adult children of helicopter parents engage in more risky behavior such as alcohol and substance use, sexual coercion, as well as video game addiction.”
She also still goes over to their house before every vacation to pack his suitcase for him. Because a 35 year old award winning teacher and
father of two couldn’t *possibly* know how to pack his own suitcase and obviously neither could his wife.
“The least researched area would be the social and relational outcomes,” Prof. Schiffrin pointed out. “The few studies that have been conducted tend to show a negative relationship between helicopter parenting and relationships with the family of origin, friends, and romantic partners, for example, a desire to stay single or to postpone marriage. However, this area could definitely benefit from more research.”
He calls the university police, and reports that she’s “missing.”
So they basically do a welfare check on her and the story ends with “the student contacted her father.”
I commented on the Facebook post, said something like “Dad’s just upset that his adult daughter’s hooking up” or something. A man who appeared to be in his 40’s/50’s, angry-emoji’d my comment. I like to think that this was the dad.
The influence of helicopter parenting on the mind of a developing child seems to be evident, but it’s not only kids of young age that such parents tend to coddle. Sometimes their involvement can be too much even after the child has become an adult, which can be a difficult thing to explain to a helicopter mom or dad.
“In terms of letting parents know that their involvement is too much, I think that the more this is discussed and parents are educated about it the better it will be,” Holly Schiffrin suggested. “Parenting this way is stressful and exhausting to parents; however, I think they do it because they genuinely think that they are helping their children. If they can come to understand that these helicopter parenting behaviors are not helpful—and may be harmful—it would give them permission to step back and parent differently, which would benefit their children and themselves.
“This type of parental education could come through articles, parenting books, pediatricians, psychologists, parenting sessions held by preschools or public schools, college orientation sessions, and similar ways. If a parent hasn’t gotten the message through these sources, then an emerging adult child may need to have a more direct conversation with their parent to express how helicopter parenting behaviors impact them and how they would like their parent to support their autonomy instead.”
She later comes back with my phone asking if my mom looks through my texts. I say no and she comes back with, “well she should. I just read a few of your texts and you’re swearing, talking to boys, and also telling your mom to call so you have have to stay here. It’s appalling” I was devastated. Being in 7th-8th grade I did swear, I didn’t talk dirty to boys even though I still have conversations with them, and sometimes my friend would just be a straight up b***h and I would want an excuse to go home.
I was friends with her all through high school up until my second year of college. I do miss her a little, but since I don’t go to church anymore (which was drama and a half) her and my other “friends” don’t want to associate with me unless I go to 20’s group, a bible study, and become involved with church again. I remember they taught “spread the love of Jesus, but only stay in the “Christian” group”. This doesn’t speak for other churches/religions it may just be that the church is extremely exclusive with who they associate with.
I was coaching a high school wrestling team. Every week we’d have wrestle offs for the varsity spot. Well this one week a kid who barely had people in his weigh class wrestled off against a new transfer to the school. He lost. After the match was awarded he went to the bathroom to cry it out. Not five minutes later a minivan screeches in to the parking lot. I look outside and here comes the losers mom. She entered the room and demanded a meeting with the coaches. We told her it wasn’t going to happen we were in the middle of practice. She stormed out and went to the principle. He explained that we would all be meeting after practice.
After practice the show down began. We pulled out our team standards and practices paper work of which she and her son had signed. This was enough for the principal so he left. The mom spent the next 20 minutes arguing that her some deserved the spot more for a bunch of b******t reasons. So we suggested another wrestle off the next day( we knew he was going to get his a*s kicked again, the new guy was really good) and suggested she come watch. The next day she was there the whole practice and watched her son get worked.
A few years later I quit coaching.That was my first intro to helicopter parents and won’t be my last.
I knew a person who basically was so unprepared that the university basically assigned her a social worker to help her navigate life. She was brilliant but her mother made running her daughter’s life her raison d’etre. Because of privacy laws the Uni couldn’t legally tell the mother anything which made her go ballistic and had to be removed several times from the campus in the early morning for trying to break into the dorms.
I met her in college where she was volunteering at (I worked in the office) with the life skills classes that basically helped her put her life together. She had to graduate a year late because of all the remedial work she had to do. She did her master’s degree and PhD in Europe (she had citizenship through her dad) and then moved to some little village in the middle of nowhere, simply to get away from her mom. Her mom’s still looking for her over a decade later, telling everyone that will listen that her father kidnapped her and is keeping her child form her.
It was my mom. I love her and she’s gotten much better but as the oldest, I was the trial run and I was a s**thead. So I hated high school, but got enough credits to graduate early. Usually, the graduating class got done a few days early so there were a few days of class for the underclassmen after graduation. My mom noticed a parent email from my math teacher about a missed homework assignment that she missed in her inbox the week prior.I She got this the day after I’d graduated and I was leaving to go to basic training within the week. She printed the assignment out, did the work and then asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite. Kidnapped me and drove me to the school THAT I HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM THE DAY BEFORE and demanded that I go hand in my missing assignment to see if I could get my grade bumped. Like, no b***h I will not. Never got to have that lunch either.
I knew a guy who’s mother would listen in on phone calls and tell him what to say on the phone whilst he was talking to me or one of our friends. I’m talking about when landline was the norm, so he’d answer the phone, and she’d go pick up the other phone and it’d be a 3 way conversation. Literally every time i’d speak to him, it was like talking to an echo
Me: “hey, do you want to come to the park today?”
his mother “tell him you have to study for Tuesday’s test”
him: “i have to study for tuesday’s test”
This went on from ages 10 – 16/17. After that, everyone started to get mobile phones. From what i’ve seen/heard, she still comments on his every facebook photo, interrogates friends should they be foolish enough to actually visit his home and is even more protective of his sister.
F was the kind of child who would cry at the slightest negative comment by a teacher, or the slightest jeer from another student. During primary school, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary, but it did signify how she was a little too molly-coddled at home. She always had jam sandwiches, a mini roll, BBQ hula hoops and an orange for her lunch. Every now and then she would have a banana. She has exactly the same lunch in 2018, and the same hairstyle she had back then; an ultra long brown ponytail.
For my eighth birthday we hired a bouncy castle for the garden and had all of my friends over. She was invited because yeah, she was one of my friends. However, her mother refused to leave her in the care of my parents. Instead, she insisted on staying and monitoring the party, much to the annoyance of my auntie, who wanted to some her cigarettes and chat with my mum in peace. Of course, when F bounced a little too hard on the bouncy castle and started crying, her mother was quickly there to save the day. This is what happens when you don’t let your child experience little minor grievances like scraping their knee or bumping their head. They cry at anything.
During middle school, we went by bus to the local high school to use their Design & Technology equipment by bus. Oh, but not F. F’s father insisted on picking her up from the middle school and driving her to the high school, which was ten minutes away, just in case the bus driver had a heart attack or tried to kidnap us all. Every time she walked past the bus to get to her father’s car, she would be laughed at and mocked.
Now F is attending sixth form, and has an unusually close relationship with her media studies teacher. As in, she and another student are constantly in this room, acting like his personal assistant. Again, this is what happens when a child is overly-attached to their parents. They always need a parent figure.
It’s a pity, because F has missed out on some fantastic opportunities. The school offered her the chance to visit London for an animation course, but her parents wouldn’t allow it. She also missed out on a trip to Berlin for the same reason, and will be attending a local university, despite her actually wanting to venture out into the great wide world. F has never been out with friends. She has never been to our local city without her parents. In fact, I don’t think she has actually been more than 5 miles away from her parents at any given point. This is an 18 year old girl we are talking about.
I hope that one day she will finally rebel and break free from her parent’s control, but I doubt that will ever happen.
I’m so glad she’s let go of him now that he’s older.
I was raised in a Mormon household by the parents that were the perfect Mormons. Always volunteered for camps and conferences and anything to do with the youth group. They did this so mom could keep a paranoid eye on us. I go to college an hour away and have to update her constantly on where I am. I have to ask permission to do anything with friends several days in advance and hope she doesn’t get pissy. To this day, at 22 years old, I still have a curfew. We live in the middle of nowhere. Her favorite threat is to take away my phone. My only communication with outside of buttf**k nowhere. My only way to talk to the few friends and girlfriend that actually get me. I was homeschooled all my life so that’s literally the only social life I have. She calls to check on me at random times and I better answer otherwise she freaks out and I hear about it for days. Last time I slept through my alarm and woke up to my grandmother having broke into the house to scream at me. (Mom was staying with her that night.). She monitored my average mph for several months and would bring it up if it was even slightly high. I’ve never been allowed to go to any sort of event with my friends that wasn’t some churchy b******t. And even then she had to chaperone. Constantly reminds me and bro to not have sex with anyone before marriage. I’ve been on exactly 1 date… that she knows of. Powerpuff girls, Pokemon, KND, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Rugrats were all banned from our TVs. Songs had to be pre-approved to be put on MP3 players. I always felt left out of pop culture. I didn’t get a phone until I was 17. When she didn’t like how my best friend and I were talking, she banned me to three messages to her per day. And those messages had to be pre-approved before sending. She still threatens to read my messages occasionally. I have never tried alcohol, never went to a non-mormon prom (dateless prom doesn’t count, it’s lame and you all know it), only once got to go to a slumber party that wasn’t within 3 minutes, and she made it extremely painful when I was trying to sign the lease to an apt. God I can’t wait to move out.
My MIL planned to accompany my wife and I on our honeymoon, without our knowledge.
Thankfully we’d already asked her to check in on our hamster while we were gone, so her plans were scuppered.
We only found out about this “plan” after we returned home, she seriously didn’t see why we wouldn’t want her to come with us.
My mom never let me go play with friends, each time I asked if was like being interrogated by the CIA and even after I answered the questions if would be unlikely I’d be allowed to go. When I did go to a friend’s house and I asked to stay longer then my mom had (graciously) allowed, she’d ask what’s wrong with my house and why don’t I want to spend time with my family (that largely ignored me) and she’d show up at my friend’s house to check and make sure I was okay. She’d randomly call my friends to make sure I was okay if I didn’t reply within 5 minutes. She would never let me shop on my own. Once after a particularly nasty fight between her and my step dad that ended with him nearly killing me, she insisted she had to be in the room during my therapy sessions (to treat the anxiety caused by the incident), hard to talk about your issues when the cause of most of your issues is in the same room. My mom would also micro manage me when I did my homework, once she hit me so hard I bled on my HW…. Fun times were had growing up…
One of my first Reddit comments was about a dad who is extremely invested in his son’s football potential. The dad hired personal trainers, enforced a special diet, prohibited sleepovers, didn’t allow his son to play other sports, and hovered over his son playing backyard football to correct his form.
He is still that way for the most part but has added more training and created a social media page for his son to try and get his name out there. The kid is 11. The dad is originally from Texas and I understand football is more of a religion down there than it is up here in New England, but it’s pretty extreme and I don’t see it turning out well for either of them.
My dad had/has a hard time letting go. Not sure if this story applies here, but it reminded me of this. One day during my senior year of high school, I stayed after school for 10 minutes to talk to a teacher about a project I was working on. I usually got home from school at about 3:30, but since I stayed late, I got home at 3:45. Both of my parents called my cell phone on the way home freaking out because they thought I got detention or was in a car accident…I was 18 years old and never been disciplined at school ever.
I cut my dad slack because he was a police officer for several years, so he’s super protective. I guess it’s better than having parents that don’t care at all.
My mother-in-law has an 18 year old daughter (who we will call Sally) who is lazy AF. And she lets her be this way. She literally waits on her hand and foot. Sally goes weeks without taking a bath, there have been times where she will walk by me and I have literally gagged because she smells so bad. She doesn’t clean up after herself AT ALL, all she does is sit on her a*s all day. Sally is homeschooled because she said public school was to hard for her. I don’t believe her because my mother-in-law does her school work for her sometimes. I believe she just didn’t want to try. She doesn’t have her license yet because she says that she doesn’t want them. She is very bratty and b****y. If she doesn’t get her way she cry’s like a damn 2 year old. I have called my mother-in-law out on it telling her she’s 18 and it’s time for her to grow up but she just makes excuses for her and Denys that’s she lazy. I’m not sure if this is what you call helicopter parenting. But after reading other people’s comments it reminded me of this situation.
I have a very… Very German grandmother. She calls my father every day in the morning (he drives a freight truck at night) and the conversation goes something like this:
Grandmother: (frantic) “Are you okay?”
Dad: “Yes, are YOU okay?”
Grandmother: “Yes”
Dad: “Okay”
Grandmother: “Okay”
If we go on trips, she will randomly call us and say “You are (insert location x hours from home).” She tries to micromanage every aspect of any trip we tell her about; asking what we’re doing, asking what time we’ll be doing it, and will tell us how to do it (she’s definitely not trying to give advice).
Or if my she wants my dad to do something for her, she is always right over his shoulder trying to tell him what to do and how to do it. It’s gotten to the point to where my dad has said on numerous occasions “I’m a big boy now Mom.”
My dad is 60. This still goes on to this day, not as badly anymore now that she lives in an assisted living home, but it’s still definitely there.
Before this post, I never knew there was a name for this behavior, but now I know! Thank you!
Oh and they also still call to make sure I get home safely when I go out. Although I’M 22 YEARS OLD.
Had a 31 years old show up at a job interview with his mother…. I was quite confused when a 50 something woman came in and presented herself and his son
One of these parents got mad at my husband for letting a cuss word slip. i can’t even remember what it was. Something silly like “damn” or “s**t”. She freaked out. So I looked at the kid, lets pretend his name is Brian, and said “You know not to say that word, right Brian?” The dad stepped in and said “Don’t make him think about it. Maybe he’ll forget if you don’t bring it up.” Wooooooooooooow. As soon as that kid hits his rebellious stage, it’s gonna be f-bombs left and right LOL
I practically have to learn some things that my other peers already know how to do over the summer before I’m on my own. It’s embarrassing and honestly, my mother sheltered me a f**k ton.
I worked at a movie theatre that hired high school kids. More than once applicants wild bring their parent in to the interview – Like the actual office. The parents would answer questions for their kids and push them to tell us about their baby sitting experience. This would happen even after we politely ask them to wait in another room. Needless to say, their kids would not get hired.
I’m 18, leaving for college in the fall, my dad still insists on controlling all of my income. He has to approve all of my financial decisions and makes me ask him before I take out any money.
I’m 16 and my parents baby me so f*****g much, my parents don’t let me hang out with friends, stay in my room until they’re sure I’m sleep, cut up my steaks and whatnot, do my laundry, and won’t teach me how to drive. I’m not even a troubled kid.
My cousin at 10 still didn’t know how blow on his food to cool it. His Mom/Dad would put it in the fridge for like three to five minutes.
My mom knows someone who has a kid in college. This mom called her kid’s professor to apologize that the kid missed class, because the mom didn’t call the kid to wake them up that morning.
Girl I go to school with. She literally is only out of her parents’ presence when she is at school or when she’s left at home while her parents go out to do something. She’s not allowed to even walk down the street to the city library by herself and is granted effectively no freedoms what so ever.
She recently turned 18 (she was a STEM student at the tech college Im doing some certifications through) and the situation likely won’t change until she moves away.
I have a coworker that has her parenta drop her off at work daily. She still lives with her parents and until recently they came to all of the mandatory all staff meetings and work parties. She isn’t slowShes 28.
Prof. Holly Schiffrin pointed out that according to some research, helicopter parenting affects four main outcome areas, including the child’s psychological well-being (the level of anxiety and depression, for instance), their behavior (for example, alcohol and drug use), their social and relational skills (such as romantic relationships and friendships), and their academic performance or career goals.
“By far the most research has been conducted on the psychological outcomes and there are very consistent findings (although almost entirely correlational) that helicopter parenting is associated with more anxiety and depression as well as less satisfaction with life,” Dr. Schiffrin told Bored Panda.
“The primary explanation for this relationship that has been examined has been self-determination theory, which states that there are three pillars of everyone’s well-being including autonomy (being able to make your own choices), competence, and relatedness to other people, and helicopter parenting seems to undermine all three of the concepts.”
While discussing how helicopter parenting affects a child’s well-being by undermining the three concepts identified by the self-determination theory, Dr. Schiffrin provided an example that such parents often make choices for their children, this way reducing their autonomy.
“They also do things for their children that they should be doing for themselves, which reduces the opportunity to practice skills and develop competence, as well as sends a—likely unintentional—message that the parent doesn’t think the child is competent enough to do it themselves. Both of these dynamics seem to negatively impact how related the child feels to the parent and others.”
The parenting expert continued that the next most studied area has been the way helicopter parenting affects the child’s academic performance; however, research has provided mixed findings, as some studies suggest there’s a relationship between helicopter parenting and academic engagement, success, and entitlement, while others do not.
“There have been a couple of studies looking at careers, which have found maladaptive workplace responses to hypothetical scenarios as well as weaker vocational identity,” Schiffrin told Bored Panda.
“A newer focus of research has been on behavioral outcomes, which have typically found that the emerging adult children of helicopter parents engage in more risky behavior such as alcohol and substance use, sexual coercion, as well as video game addiction.”
She also still goes over to their house before every vacation to pack his suitcase for him. Because a 35 year old award winning teacher and
father of two couldn’t *possibly* know how to pack his own suitcase and obviously neither could his wife.
“The least researched area would be the social and relational outcomes,” Prof. Schiffrin pointed out. “The few studies that have been conducted tend to show a negative relationship between helicopter parenting and relationships with the family of origin, friends, and romantic partners, for example, a desire to stay single or to postpone marriage. However, this area could definitely benefit from more research.”
He calls the university police, and reports that she's "missing."
So they basically do a welfare check on her and the story ends with "the student contacted her father."
I commented on the Facebook post, said something like "Dad's just upset that his adult daughter's hooking up" or something. A man who appeared to be in his 40's/50's, angry-emoji'd my comment. I like to think that this was the dad.
The influence of helicopter parenting on the mind of a developing child seems to be evident, but it’s not only kids of young age that such parents tend to coddle. Sometimes their involvement can be too much even after the child has become an adult, which can be a difficult thing to explain to a helicopter mom or dad.
“In terms of letting parents know that their involvement is too much, I think that the more this is discussed and parents are educated about it the better it will be,” Holly Schiffrin suggested. “Parenting this way is stressful and exhausting to parents; however, I think they do it because they genuinely think that they are helping their children. If they can come to understand that these helicopter parenting behaviors are not helpful—and may be harmful—it would give them permission to step back and parent differently, which would benefit their children and themselves.
“This type of parental education could come through articles, parenting books, pediatricians, psychologists, parenting sessions held by preschools or public schools, college orientation sessions, and similar ways. If a parent hasn’t gotten the message through these sources, then an emerging adult child may need to have a more direct conversation with their parent to express how helicopter parenting behaviors impact them and how they would like their parent to support their autonomy instead.”
She later comes back with my phone asking if my mom looks through my texts. I say no and she comes back with, "well she should. I just read a few of your texts and you're swearing, talking to boys, and also telling your mom to call so you have have to stay here. It's appalling" I was devastated. Being in 7th-8th grade I did swear, I didn't talk dirty to boys even though I still have conversations with them, and sometimes my friend would just be a straight up b***h and I would want an excuse to go home.
I was friends with her all through high school up until my second year of college. I do miss her a little, but since I don't go to church anymore (which was drama and a half) her and my other "friends" don't want to associate with me unless I go to 20's group, a bible study, and become involved with church again. I remember they taught "spread the love of Jesus, but only stay in the "Christian" group". This doesn't speak for other churches/religions it may just be that the church is extremely exclusive with who they associate with.
I was coaching a high school wrestling team. Every week we’d have wrestle offs for the varsity spot. Well this one week a kid who barely had people in his weigh class wrestled off against a new transfer to the school. He lost. After the match was awarded he went to the bathroom to cry it out. Not five minutes later a minivan screeches in to the parking lot. I look outside and here comes the losers mom. She entered the room and demanded a meeting with the coaches. We told her it wasn’t going to happen we were in the middle of practice. She stormed out and went to the principle. He explained that we would all be meeting after practice.
After practice the show down began. We pulled out our team standards and practices paper work of which she and her son had signed. This was enough for the principal so he left. The mom spent the next 20 minutes arguing that her some deserved the spot more for a bunch of b******t reasons. So we suggested another wrestle off the next day( we knew he was going to get his a*s kicked again, the new guy was really good) and suggested she come watch. The next day she was there the whole practice and watched her son get worked.
A few years later I quit coaching.That was my first intro to helicopter parents and won’t be my last.
I knew a person who basically was so unprepared that the university basically assigned her a social worker to help her navigate life. She was brilliant but her mother made running her daughter's life her raison d'etre. Because of privacy laws the Uni couldn't legally tell the mother anything which made her go ballistic and had to be removed several times from the campus in the early morning for trying to break into the dorms.
I met her in college where she was volunteering at (I worked in the office) with the life skills classes that basically helped her put her life together. She had to graduate a year late because of all the remedial work she had to do. She did her master's degree and PhD in Europe (she had citizenship through her dad) and then moved to some little village in the middle of nowhere, simply to get away from her mom. Her mom's still looking for her over a decade later, telling everyone that will listen that her father kidnapped her and is keeping her child form her.
It was my mom. I love her and she's gotten much better but as the oldest, I was the trial run and I was a s**thead. So I hated high school, but got enough credits to graduate early. Usually, the graduating class got done a few days early so there were a few days of class for the underclassmen after graduation. My mom noticed a parent email from my math teacher about a missed homework assignment that she missed in her inbox the week prior.I She got this the day after I'd graduated and I was leaving to go to basic training within the week. She printed the assignment out, did the work and then asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite. Kidnapped me and drove me to the school THAT I HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM THE DAY BEFORE and demanded that I go hand in my missing assignment to see if I could get my grade bumped. Like, no b***h I will not. Never got to have that lunch either.
I knew a guy who's mother would listen in on phone calls and tell him what to say on the phone whilst he was talking to me or one of our friends. I'm talking about when landline was the norm, so he'd answer the phone, and she'd go pick up the other phone and it'd be a 3 way conversation. Literally every time i'd speak to him, it was like talking to an echo
Me: "hey, do you want to come to the park today?"
his mother "tell him you have to study for Tuesday's test"
him: "i have to study for tuesday's test"
This went on from ages 10 - 16/17. After that, everyone started to get mobile phones. From what i've seen/heard, she still comments on his every facebook photo, interrogates friends should they be foolish enough to actually visit his home and is even more protective of his sister.
F was the kind of child who would cry at the slightest negative comment by a teacher, or the slightest jeer from another student. During primary school, that wasn't too out of the ordinary, but it did signify how she was a little too molly-coddled at home. She always had jam sandwiches, a mini roll, BBQ hula hoops and an orange for her lunch. Every now and then she would have a banana. She has exactly the same lunch in 2018, and the same hairstyle she had back then; an ultra long brown ponytail.
For my eighth birthday we hired a bouncy castle for the garden and had all of my friends over. She was invited because yeah, she was one of my friends. However, her mother refused to leave her in the care of my parents. Instead, she insisted on staying and monitoring the party, much to the annoyance of my auntie, who wanted to some her cigarettes and chat with my mum in peace. Of course, when F bounced a little too hard on the bouncy castle and started crying, her mother was quickly there to save the day. This is what happens when you don't let your child experience little minor grievances like scraping their knee or bumping their head. They cry at anything.
During middle school, we went by bus to the local high school to use their Design & Technology equipment by bus. Oh, but not F. F's father insisted on picking her up from the middle school and driving her to the high school, which was ten minutes away, just in case the bus driver had a heart attack or tried to kidnap us all. Every time she walked past the bus to get to her father's car, she would be laughed at and mocked.
Now F is attending sixth form, and has an unusually close relationship with her media studies teacher. As in, she and another student are constantly in this room, acting like his personal assistant. Again, this is what happens when a child is overly-attached to their parents. They always need a parent figure.
It's a pity, because F has missed out on some fantastic opportunities. The school offered her the chance to visit London for an animation course, but her parents wouldn't allow it. She also missed out on a trip to Berlin for the same reason, and will be attending a local university, despite her actually wanting to venture out into the great wide world. F has never been out with friends. She has never been to our local city without her parents. In fact, I don't think she has actually been more than 5 miles away from her parents at any given point. This is an 18 year old girl we are talking about.
I hope that one day she will finally rebel and break free from her parent's control, but I doubt that will ever happen.
I'm so glad she's let go of him now that he's older.
I was raised in a Mormon household by the parents that were the perfect Mormons. Always volunteered for camps and conferences and anything to do with the youth group. They did this so mom could keep a paranoid eye on us. I go to college an hour away and have to update her constantly on where I am. I have to ask permission to do anything with friends several days in advance and hope she doesn't get pissy. To this day, at 22 years old, I still have a curfew. We live in the middle of nowhere. Her favorite threat is to take away my phone. My only communication with outside of buttf**k nowhere. My only way to talk to the few friends and girlfriend that actually get me. I was homeschooled all my life so that's literally the only social life I have. She calls to check on me at random times and I better answer otherwise she freaks out and I hear about it for days. Last time I slept through my alarm and woke up to my grandmother having broke into the house to scream at me. (Mom was staying with her that night.). She monitored my average mph for several months and would bring it up if it was even slightly high. I've never been allowed to go to any sort of event with my friends that wasn't some churchy b******t. And even then she had to chaperone. Constantly reminds me and bro to not have sex with anyone before marriage. I've been on exactly 1 date... that she knows of. Powerpuff girls, Pokemon, KND, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Rugrats were all banned from our TVs. Songs had to be pre-approved to be put on MP3 players. I always felt left out of pop culture. I didn't get a phone until I was 17. When she didn't like how my best friend and I were talking, she banned me to three messages to her per day. And those messages had to be pre-approved before sending. She still threatens to read my messages occasionally. I have never tried alcohol, never went to a non-mormon prom (dateless prom doesn't count, it's lame and you all know it), only once got to go to a slumber party that wasn't within 3 minutes, and she made it extremely painful when I was trying to sign the lease to an apt. God I can't wait to move out.
My MIL planned to accompany my wife and I on our honeymoon, without our knowledge.
Thankfully we’d already asked her to check in on our hamster while we were gone, so her plans were scuppered.
We only found out about this “plan” after we returned home, she seriously didn’t see why we wouldn’t want her to come with us.
My mom never let me go play with friends, each time I asked if was like being interrogated by the CIA and even after I answered the questions if would be unlikely I'd be allowed to go. When I did go to a friend's house and I asked to stay longer then my mom had (graciously) allowed, she'd ask what's wrong with my house and why don't I want to spend time with my family (that largely ignored me) and she'd show up at my friend's house to check and make sure I was okay. She'd randomly call my friends to make sure I was okay if I didn't reply within 5 minutes. She would never let me shop on my own. Once after a particularly nasty fight between her and my step dad that ended with him nearly killing me, she insisted she had to be in the room during my therapy sessions (to treat the anxiety caused by the incident), hard to talk about your issues when the cause of most of your issues is in the same room. My mom would also micro manage me when I did my homework, once she hit me so hard I bled on my HW.... Fun times were had growing up...
One of my first Reddit comments was about a dad who is extremely invested in his son's football potential. The dad hired personal trainers, enforced a special diet, prohibited sleepovers, didn't allow his son to play other sports, and hovered over his son playing backyard football to correct his form.
He is still that way for the most part but has added more training and created a social media page for his son to try and get his name out there. The kid is 11. The dad is originally from Texas and I understand football is more of a religion down there than it is up here in New England, but it's pretty extreme and I don't see it turning out well for either of them.
My dad had/has a hard time letting go. Not sure if this story applies here, but it reminded me of this. One day during my senior year of high school, I stayed after school for 10 minutes to talk to a teacher about a project I was working on. I usually got home from school at about 3:30, but since I stayed late, I got home at 3:45. Both of my parents called my cell phone on the way home freaking out because they thought I got detention or was in a car accident...I was 18 years old and never been disciplined at school ever.
I cut my dad slack because he was a police officer for several years, so he’s super protective. I guess it’s better than having parents that don’t care at all.
My mother-in-law has an 18 year old daughter (who we will call Sally) who is lazy AF. And she lets her be this way. She literally waits on her hand and foot. Sally goes weeks without taking a bath, there have been times where she will walk by me and I have literally gagged because she smells so bad. She doesn’t clean up after herself AT ALL, all she does is sit on her a*s all day. Sally is homeschooled because she said public school was to hard for her. I don’t believe her because my mother-in-law does her school work for her sometimes. I believe she just didn’t want to try. She doesn’t have her license yet because she says that she doesn’t want them. She is very bratty and b****y. If she doesn’t get her way she cry’s like a damn 2 year old. I have called my mother-in-law out on it telling her she’s 18 and it’s time for her to grow up but she just makes excuses for her and Denys that’s she lazy. I’m not sure if this is what you call helicopter parenting. But after reading other people’s comments it reminded me of this situation.
I have a very... Very German grandmother. She calls my father every day in the morning (he drives a freight truck at night) and the conversation goes something like this:
Grandmother: (frantic) "Are you okay?"
Dad: "Yes, are YOU okay?"
Grandmother: "Yes"
Dad: "Okay"
Grandmother: "Okay"
If we go on trips, she will randomly call us and say "You are (insert location x hours from home)." She tries to micromanage every aspect of any trip we tell her about; asking what we're doing, asking what time we'll be doing it, and will tell us how to do it (she's definitely not trying to give advice).
Or if my she wants my dad to do something for her, she is always right over his shoulder trying to tell him what to do and how to do it. It's gotten to the point to where my dad has said on numerous occasions "I'm a big boy now Mom."
My dad is 60. This still goes on to this day, not as badly anymore now that she lives in an assisted living home, but it's still definitely there.
Before this post, I never knew there was a name for this behavior, but now I know! Thank you!
Oh and they also still call to make sure I get home safely when I go out. Although I'M 22 YEARS OLD.
Had a 31 years old show up at a job interview with his mother.... I was quite confused when a 50 something woman came in and presented herself and his son
One of these parents got mad at my husband for letting a cuss word slip. i can't even remember what it was. Something silly like "damn" or "s**t". She freaked out. So I looked at the kid, lets pretend his name is Brian, and said "You know not to say that word, right Brian?" The dad stepped in and said "Don't make him think about it. Maybe he'll forget if you don't bring it up." Wooooooooooooow. As soon as that kid hits his rebellious stage, it's gonna be f-bombs left and right LOL
I practically have to learn some things that my other peers already know how to do over the summer before I’m on my own. It’s embarrassing and honestly, my mother sheltered me a f**k ton.
I worked at a movie theatre that hired high school kids. More than once applicants wild bring their parent in to the interview - Like the actual office. The parents would answer questions for their kids and push them to tell us about their baby sitting experience. This would happen even after we politely ask them to wait in another room. Needless to say, their kids would not get hired.
I’m 18, leaving for college in the fall, my dad still insists on controlling all of my income. He has to approve all of my financial decisions and makes me ask him before I take out any money.
I'm 16 and my parents baby me so f*****g much, my parents don't let me hang out with friends, stay in my room until they're sure I'm sleep, cut up my steaks and whatnot, do my laundry, and won't teach me how to drive. I'm not even a troubled kid.
My cousin at 10 still didn't know how blow on his food to cool it. His Mom/Dad would put it in the fridge for like three to five minutes.
My mom knows someone who has a kid in college. This mom called her kid’s professor to apologize that the kid missed class, because the mom didn’t call the kid to wake them up that morning.
Girl I go to school with. She literally is only out of her parents' presence when she is at school or when she's left at home while her parents go out to do something. She's not allowed to even walk down the street to the city library by herself and is granted effectively no freedoms what so ever.
She recently turned 18 (she was a STEM student at the tech college Im doing some certifications through) and the situation likely won't change until she moves away.
I have a coworker that has her parenta drop her off at work daily. She still lives with her parents and until recently they came to all of the mandatory all staff meetings and work parties. She isn't slowShes 28.
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