Essay: Checking out the self-help aisle after a lifetime of reading fiction
For as long as I can remember, my favourite place to be was an aisle in a bookstore. The shelves stacked with books meant that every visit was a new, unplanned adventure. I could spend hours, flipping a book’s pages, deciding which one to get from the limited money I had.
As a child, I sought out mystery and fun in the form of the now-berated Enid Blyton and the Bobbsey Twins. A teenage me picked up Nancy Drew Case Files alongside classics like Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice. My choices evolved with every passing year, and they continue to do so.
But I always stayed away from the self-help section. I don’t know if it was a conscious choice or my subconscious that told me to stay away from anything to do with self-improvement. It may have been the self-assuredness of youth, but somehow, I never bought the concept of a book that promised to, well, change my life.
How could a book do what I couldn’t? How could a paperback help me find inner peace and stability, make me feel more confident, help me manage my time better, solve relationship woes, unlock personal wellness, assist me to become richer… you get the drift?
And so I continued flipping through the pages of whatever fictional work that took my fancy.
Till the pandemic upended our world.
Outside, things changed every hour. Infections, lock downs, updates, deaths, isolation, stress, anxiety, and depression loomed large as people everywhere contended with the harsh new reality and waited for science to save the day.
Inside, my family was at peace on account of staving off Covid, but apprehensions and angst ruled our household. As the pandemic raged, bringing the world to a complete halt, time seemed to have entered an endless loop in our home where we cared for my mother, who had slipped into a coma following complications arising from Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD).
Life became an endless cycle, a seemingly unbroken routine. Online school and work, grocery shopping and meal planning, chores and tasks, a 24-hour roster for nurses and caretakers… Days turned into weeks as our existence followed an unbroken progression. My mother, meanwhile, continued to look like she was taking a nap, but the many tubes and wires attached to her frail body showed she’s wasn’t sleeping.
It was during this time, when the world was no longer what it had been, that I decided to pick something out of my comfort zone; something that could help make sense of a world and time where nothing made sense to me, as an individual, daughter, mother, wife, mother, co-worker, neighbour, citizen, and human being.
I chose Atomic Habits, written by James Clear in 2018, a book that promised to transform my life “with tiny changes in behaviour, starting now”. I had no goals, per se, but when things around me seemed to be deteriorating every day, I looked for some kind of advance.
I saw no way but down, and I grabbed the lifeline this self-help book offered to claw my way back up.
Since then, I have made my way through numerous self-help books.
I still stayed away from Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret and Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, but steadily made my way through many others – The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel, Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles, Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
The self-help part of my day happened daily – and I was surprised to realise that I looked forward to it. Every morning, I would jam in my ear buds, put on my walking shoes, and get out of doors for some exercise and inspiration.
The self-help book that I scorned was helping me see things differently. The many dark shades of life seemed to lighten, becoming grey, turning to white, and ultimately breaking down into different colours.
I found that the books I once vilified provide support and offer encouragement, often hard to come by amid the daily grind as we compete for grades, popularity, jobs, and money, and seek to improve our mental and physical health, enhance relationships, and learn new things.
To me, a self-help book, whether it is Michelle Obama’s The Light We Carry, Susan Cain’s Quiet, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, or The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, shows me that I am not alone.
That so many have struggled and dealt with challenges and put down their experiences for millions like me to gain from is encouraging and comforting. Their way out also offers a different perspective, a way to take a step back and look at things from a new angle.
The self-help library online is boundless and has something for every mood. When I wanted to improve my craft, I could choose between Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird and Stephen King’s On Writing. If I felt the home was too messy, I had The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo handy. And, God forbid, if weekend drinking was getting out of hand amid the pandemic, I took Holly Whitaker’s advice on How To Quit Like a Woman.
The self-help industry may have taken off in the early 2000s, but the first self-help book – called what else but Self-help – was penned by Scottish writer Samuel Smiles in 1859. Called “the Bible of mid-Victorian liberalism”, it promoted thrift and put forth ways in which people – rich or poor – could better their personal qualities and character to improve their lot in life.
“The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual,” Smiles wrote in the book that was released the same year as Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species.
Self-help turned out to be a bigger success than Darwin’s treatise! Smiles’s outline that “heaven/god helps those who help themselves” and that good character can be formed despite the many prevailing forces of instinct and cultural conditioning gained more popularity than Darwin’s scientific work that populations evolve over the course of generations through a process of natural selection. So much so that more than 100 years on, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher wanted to gift Self-help to every schoolchild in Britain.
Cut to today, when self-help is a booming, multibillion-dollar industry.
Sales of self-help books in the US grew annually by 11% from 2013 to 2019, reaching 18.6 million volumes, according to American market research company, The NPD Group. The number of self-help titles nearly tripled during that period, from 30,897 to 85,253.
“People are yearning for meaning, peace, and calm in today’s somewhat chaotic culture,” NPD’s Kristen McLean said.
India’s self-help publishing industry has also grown exponentially over the last 20 years and coincides with the entry of foreign publishers in the market. Whether it’s offline bookstores on online giants like Amazon and Flipkart, there’s no way you can miss the self-help section.
The growth is likely to continue as the reading public’s interest in improving physical, mental, and emotional health increases.
According to Grand View Research, the global personal development market size was valued at $41.81 billion in 2021 and is anticipated to expand at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 5.5% from 2022 to 2030.
“The growing emphasis on acquiring new skills, such as social skills and decision-making skills, for self-improvement, personal development, and gaining self-recognition is a major factor expected to drive the market growth over the forecast period,” says the report.
That’s why we now see a wide variety of self-help in bookstores: Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith, Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life by Rosie Nafousi, You Are Powerful by Becki Rabin, Speak your Truth by Fearne Cotton, The Rules of Thinking by Richard Templar, The Comfort Book by Matt Haig, Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton, F***k being Humble: Why Self-Promotion isn’t a Dirty Word by Stefanie Sword-Williams, Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight, Real Life Money by Clare Seal, The Discomfort Zone: How to Get What You Want by Living Fearlessly by Farrah Storr, and How to Own the Room by Viv Groskop.
Clearly, help with or motivation for whatever I may need is at hand.
Scientific research shows that self-help books are “more effective at helping us learn new life skills, like assertiveness, problem-solving and even tidiness”.
Browsing this new aisle has taught me that a self-help book whether it is on time management, improving habits, or learning to be assertive, may not get the job done completely but it does put me in the right frame of mind and on track. That’s a big help, for sure!
Dr Judith Belmont, mental health author and motivational speaker, writes that self-help books offer psycho-educational strategies to keep you focused on “how to” change. “We all know what we want to change – but a self-help book offers tips on ‘how to’ change.
I now find that a self-help book gets you to stop thinking micro, and focus on the macro. It break thought loops and thought patterns and helps you look at the bigger picture even as it gives you a to-do, which to many of us is the way out of a bad situation.
Clearly, mind sets have shifted drastically from 10 years ago when British philosopher and author Alain de Botton wrote in a Guardian column: “Anyone wanting to damage their intellectual credentials at a stroke need only do one simple thing: confess they read self-help books.”
Teja Lele is an independent editor and writes on books, travel and lifestyle
The views expressed are personal
Enjoy unlimited digital access with HT Premium
Subscribe Now to continue reading
For as long as I can remember, my favourite place to be was an aisle in a bookstore. The shelves stacked with books meant that every visit was a new, unplanned adventure. I could spend hours, flipping a book’s pages, deciding which one to get from the limited money I had.
As a child, I sought out mystery and fun in the form of the now-berated Enid Blyton and the Bobbsey Twins. A teenage me picked up Nancy Drew Case Files alongside classics like Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice. My choices evolved with every passing year, and they continue to do so.
But I always stayed away from the self-help section. I don’t know if it was a conscious choice or my subconscious that told me to stay away from anything to do with self-improvement. It may have been the self-assuredness of youth, but somehow, I never bought the concept of a book that promised to, well, change my life.
How could a book do what I couldn’t? How could a paperback help me find inner peace and stability, make me feel more confident, help me manage my time better, solve relationship woes, unlock personal wellness, assist me to become richer… you get the drift?
And so I continued flipping through the pages of whatever fictional work that took my fancy.
Till the pandemic upended our world.
Outside, things changed every hour. Infections, lock downs, updates, deaths, isolation, stress, anxiety, and depression loomed large as people everywhere contended with the harsh new reality and waited for science to save the day.
Inside, my family was at peace on account of staving off Covid, but apprehensions and angst ruled our household. As the pandemic raged, bringing the world to a complete halt, time seemed to have entered an endless loop in our home where we cared for my mother, who had slipped into a coma following complications arising from Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD).
Life became an endless cycle, a seemingly unbroken routine. Online school and work, grocery shopping and meal planning, chores and tasks, a 24-hour roster for nurses and caretakers… Days turned into weeks as our existence followed an unbroken progression. My mother, meanwhile, continued to look like she was taking a nap, but the many tubes and wires attached to her frail body showed she’s wasn’t sleeping.
It was during this time, when the world was no longer what it had been, that I decided to pick something out of my comfort zone; something that could help make sense of a world and time where nothing made sense to me, as an individual, daughter, mother, wife, mother, co-worker, neighbour, citizen, and human being.
I chose Atomic Habits, written by James Clear in 2018, a book that promised to transform my life “with tiny changes in behaviour, starting now”. I had no goals, per se, but when things around me seemed to be deteriorating every day, I looked for some kind of advance.
I saw no way but down, and I grabbed the lifeline this self-help book offered to claw my way back up.
Since then, I have made my way through numerous self-help books.
I still stayed away from Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret and Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, but steadily made my way through many others – The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel, Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles, Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
The self-help part of my day happened daily – and I was surprised to realise that I looked forward to it. Every morning, I would jam in my ear buds, put on my walking shoes, and get out of doors for some exercise and inspiration.
The self-help book that I scorned was helping me see things differently. The many dark shades of life seemed to lighten, becoming grey, turning to white, and ultimately breaking down into different colours.
I found that the books I once vilified provide support and offer encouragement, often hard to come by amid the daily grind as we compete for grades, popularity, jobs, and money, and seek to improve our mental and physical health, enhance relationships, and learn new things.
To me, a self-help book, whether it is Michelle Obama’s The Light We Carry, Susan Cain’s Quiet, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, or The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, shows me that I am not alone.
That so many have struggled and dealt with challenges and put down their experiences for millions like me to gain from is encouraging and comforting. Their way out also offers a different perspective, a way to take a step back and look at things from a new angle.
The self-help library online is boundless and has something for every mood. When I wanted to improve my craft, I could choose between Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird and Stephen King’s On Writing. If I felt the home was too messy, I had The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo handy. And, God forbid, if weekend drinking was getting out of hand amid the pandemic, I took Holly Whitaker’s advice on How To Quit Like a Woman.
The self-help industry may have taken off in the early 2000s, but the first self-help book – called what else but Self-help – was penned by Scottish writer Samuel Smiles in 1859. Called “the Bible of mid-Victorian liberalism”, it promoted thrift and put forth ways in which people – rich or poor – could better their personal qualities and character to improve their lot in life.
“The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual,” Smiles wrote in the book that was released the same year as Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species.
Self-help turned out to be a bigger success than Darwin’s treatise! Smiles’s outline that “heaven/god helps those who help themselves” and that good character can be formed despite the many prevailing forces of instinct and cultural conditioning gained more popularity than Darwin’s scientific work that populations evolve over the course of generations through a process of natural selection. So much so that more than 100 years on, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher wanted to gift Self-help to every schoolchild in Britain.
Cut to today, when self-help is a booming, multibillion-dollar industry.
Sales of self-help books in the US grew annually by 11% from 2013 to 2019, reaching 18.6 million volumes, according to American market research company, The NPD Group. The number of self-help titles nearly tripled during that period, from 30,897 to 85,253.
“People are yearning for meaning, peace, and calm in today’s somewhat chaotic culture,” NPD’s Kristen McLean said.
India’s self-help publishing industry has also grown exponentially over the last 20 years and coincides with the entry of foreign publishers in the market. Whether it’s offline bookstores on online giants like Amazon and Flipkart, there’s no way you can miss the self-help section.
The growth is likely to continue as the reading public’s interest in improving physical, mental, and emotional health increases.
According to Grand View Research, the global personal development market size was valued at $41.81 billion in 2021 and is anticipated to expand at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 5.5% from 2022 to 2030.
“The growing emphasis on acquiring new skills, such as social skills and decision-making skills, for self-improvement, personal development, and gaining self-recognition is a major factor expected to drive the market growth over the forecast period,” says the report.
That’s why we now see a wide variety of self-help in bookstores: Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith, Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life by Rosie Nafousi, You Are Powerful by Becki Rabin, Speak your Truth by Fearne Cotton, The Rules of Thinking by Richard Templar, The Comfort Book by Matt Haig, Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton, F***k being Humble: Why Self-Promotion isn’t a Dirty Word by Stefanie Sword-Williams, Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight, Real Life Money by Clare Seal, The Discomfort Zone: How to Get What You Want by Living Fearlessly by Farrah Storr, and How to Own the Room by Viv Groskop.
Clearly, help with or motivation for whatever I may need is at hand.
Scientific research shows that self-help books are “more effective at helping us learn new life skills, like assertiveness, problem-solving and even tidiness”.
Browsing this new aisle has taught me that a self-help book whether it is on time management, improving habits, or learning to be assertive, may not get the job done completely but it does put me in the right frame of mind and on track. That’s a big help, for sure!
Dr Judith Belmont, mental health author and motivational speaker, writes that self-help books offer psycho-educational strategies to keep you focused on “how to” change. “We all know what we want to change – but a self-help book offers tips on ‘how to’ change.
I now find that a self-help book gets you to stop thinking micro, and focus on the macro. It break thought loops and thought patterns and helps you look at the bigger picture even as it gives you a to-do, which to many of us is the way out of a bad situation.
Clearly, mind sets have shifted drastically from 10 years ago when British philosopher and author Alain de Botton wrote in a Guardian column: “Anyone wanting to damage their intellectual credentials at a stroke need only do one simple thing: confess they read self-help books.”
Teja Lele is an independent editor and writes on books, travel and lifestyle
The views expressed are personal
Enjoy unlimited digital access with HT Premium
Subscribe Now to continue reading
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