Jacqueline Wilson: ‘How often do I have sex? I’m a children’s writer. We don’t know what sex is’ | Children and teenagers

Born in Somerset, Wilson, 76, began her career writing crime novels, and for the teenage magazine Jackie. In 1991, she published The Story of Tracy Beaker, the first of her award-winning children’s bestsellers, many of which have been adapted for television and the stage. In 2005, she became the children’s laureate and three years later was made a dame. On 26 May she publishes The Magic Faraway Tree: A New Adventure, inspired by Enid Blyton. She has a daughter and lives with her partner in East Sussex.

When were you happiest?
A few years ago in Vermont, when I eloped with Trish to have a civil partnership ceremony.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Catastrophising.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Years ago, I was asked to go on a children’s programme in New Zealand. I was given pyjamas and I had to get into an actual bed with two glossy young presenters. We had to pretend we were children having a sleepover with popcorn. It was excruciating.

Describe yourself in three words
Imaginative, funny and hardworking.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My right arm. I was on dialysis for a couple of years before I had my kidney transplant. I am left with a lump, needle tracks all the way up my arm and lots of broken veins.

Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
I love Dickens, but there are books like Martin Chuzzlewit or Our Mutual Friend that I haven’t tackled.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Fairies.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Richard Osman.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
Somebody asked if I would ghost-write Jean Shrimpton’s autobiography. I went along to meet this publisher who looked me up and down and said: “I don’t think you’re right; I think you’d have a jealousy problem.”

Would you choose fame or anonymity?
Fame: fame sells the books.

What do you owe your parents?
My parents have given me lots of material to write about.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
A little girl called Pat. We were nine-year-olds together and all the class made her life a misery. I knew she wanted to be my friend and I would only be friends with her if nobody else was around. I feel dreadful about that.

What does love feel like?
Realising that if they were drowning, you’d try to save them.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
I have – to be polite.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Absolutely.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
When I was in my 30s and taped myself singing. I always thought I had quite a sweet voice – my voice is terrible, I can’t hold a note.

How often do you have sex?
I am a children’s writer: we are like Blue Peter presenters, we don’t even know what sex is.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don’t write yourself off. On my 50th birthday I thought, I’ve been lucky enough to have achieved most of what I wanted and I have a so-so marriage, so it will be downhill all the way. But amazing things have happened since; things I’d never even dreamed about.

Born in Somerset, Wilson, 76, began her career writing crime novels, and for the teenage magazine Jackie. In 1991, she published The Story of Tracy Beaker, the first of her award-winning children’s bestsellers, many of which have been adapted for television and the stage. In 2005, she became the children’s laureate and three years later was made a dame. On 26 May she publishes The Magic Faraway Tree: A New Adventure, inspired by Enid Blyton. She has a daughter and lives with her partner in East Sussex.

When were you happiest?
A few years ago in Vermont, when I eloped with Trish to have a civil partnership ceremony.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Catastrophising.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Years ago, I was asked to go on a children’s programme in New Zealand. I was given pyjamas and I had to get into an actual bed with two glossy young presenters. We had to pretend we were children having a sleepover with popcorn. It was excruciating.

Describe yourself in three words
Imaginative, funny and hardworking.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My right arm. I was on dialysis for a couple of years before I had my kidney transplant. I am left with a lump, needle tracks all the way up my arm and lots of broken veins.

Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
I love Dickens, but there are books like Martin Chuzzlewit or Our Mutual Friend that I haven’t tackled.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Fairies.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Richard Osman.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
Somebody asked if I would ghost-write Jean Shrimpton’s autobiography. I went along to meet this publisher who looked me up and down and said: “I don’t think you’re right; I think you’d have a jealousy problem.”

Would you choose fame or anonymity?
Fame: fame sells the books.

What do you owe your parents?
My parents have given me lots of material to write about.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
A little girl called Pat. We were nine-year-olds together and all the class made her life a misery. I knew she wanted to be my friend and I would only be friends with her if nobody else was around. I feel dreadful about that.

What does love feel like?
Realising that if they were drowning, you’d try to save them.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
I have – to be polite.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Absolutely.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
When I was in my 30s and taped myself singing. I always thought I had quite a sweet voice – my voice is terrible, I can’t hold a note.

How often do you have sex?
I am a children’s writer: we are like Blue Peter presenters, we don’t even know what sex is.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don’t write yourself off. On my 50th birthday I thought, I’ve been lucky enough to have achieved most of what I wanted and I have a so-so marriage, so it will be downhill all the way. But amazing things have happened since; things I’d never even dreamed about.