Shenaz Treasury – “Marriage was invented when people lived till 35”

Why did you choose to write about breakups?

People see me as a travel influencer now but the truth is that I have been travelling forever, before there was Instagram or YouTube. I discovered all of Asia during my first job at MTV when I was based in Singapore. So, I’ve lived a very colourful life, lived in many countries and dated many people, of many ethnicities. After every break up, or anything that went wrong in my life, I would pack my bags and travel. I would travel to escape and I found it very liberating and therapeutic. In fact, this whole travel blogging career started from a breakup.

What was it like to revisit the heartbreaks?

Writing this book helped me a lot even though I would choke up sometimes while remembering a difficult time. Writing helps me think and get clarity over what’s happened. I am able to distance myself from the experience and analyse it objectively. The book is part fiction, part fact. It’s a chronicle of my life from when I was four-years-old to me at 40.

In the world of dating and relationships, marriage even, a lot has changed in the past couple of decades. What kind of transition have you personally experienced from dating in the 1990s to dating in the present day?

My book starts in the 1990s, and then over a period of decades, you see how relationships change with time. Some relationships are seven years long, some are four years long. I personally feel there is no one soul mate and that Bollywood movies have been lying to us. Marriage was invented when people lived till 35 and for social and financial reasons. Nowadays, women work, they have a life of their own and I don’t know if someone can get married at 25 anymore and stay with the person till they die, as it used to happen earlier. In the current climate, companionship doesn’t mean you have to get married because you change or your partner changes, and that’s how you move on. We tell ourselves that it gets harder as we get older but it actually doesn’t. These days, there are so many single people, there are so many fish in the sea, and that’s what the book is trying to say — that there is always the next chapter.

Tell us about finding love as someone who’s a public figure

I don’t think we have just one soulmate. In a relationship, you need three important connections – mental, emotional and physical. In my life, all through 22 breakups, I’ve experienced that you don’t get all three in one partner. In the book, for example, I’ve written a chapter where the relationship had a great mental and emotional connection but no physical compatibility. And I make sure to touch upon this point where we, as women, don’t talk about how important the physical aspect of a relationship is. There are, of course, other things like shared values, financial similarities, political inclination, and emotional quotient. Communication is also a key factor, so you really have to decide what works for you.

Arunima Mazumdar is an independent writer. She is @sermoninstone on Twitter and @sermonsinstone on Instagram.

Why did you choose to write about breakups?

People see me as a travel influencer now but the truth is that I have been travelling forever, before there was Instagram or YouTube. I discovered all of Asia during my first job at MTV when I was based in Singapore. So, I’ve lived a very colourful life, lived in many countries and dated many people, of many ethnicities. After every break up, or anything that went wrong in my life, I would pack my bags and travel. I would travel to escape and I found it very liberating and therapeutic. In fact, this whole travel blogging career started from a breakup.

What was it like to revisit the heartbreaks?

Writing this book helped me a lot even though I would choke up sometimes while remembering a difficult time. Writing helps me think and get clarity over what’s happened. I am able to distance myself from the experience and analyse it objectively. The book is part fiction, part fact. It’s a chronicle of my life from when I was four-years-old to me at 40.

In the world of dating and relationships, marriage even, a lot has changed in the past couple of decades. What kind of transition have you personally experienced from dating in the 1990s to dating in the present day?

My book starts in the 1990s, and then over a period of decades, you see how relationships change with time. Some relationships are seven years long, some are four years long. I personally feel there is no one soul mate and that Bollywood movies have been lying to us. Marriage was invented when people lived till 35 and for social and financial reasons. Nowadays, women work, they have a life of their own and I don’t know if someone can get married at 25 anymore and stay with the person till they die, as it used to happen earlier. In the current climate, companionship doesn’t mean you have to get married because you change or your partner changes, and that’s how you move on. We tell ourselves that it gets harder as we get older but it actually doesn’t. These days, there are so many single people, there are so many fish in the sea, and that’s what the book is trying to say — that there is always the next chapter.

Tell us about finding love as someone who’s a public figure

I don’t think we have just one soulmate. In a relationship, you need three important connections – mental, emotional and physical. In my life, all through 22 breakups, I’ve experienced that you don’t get all three in one partner. In the book, for example, I’ve written a chapter where the relationship had a great mental and emotional connection but no physical compatibility. And I make sure to touch upon this point where we, as women, don’t talk about how important the physical aspect of a relationship is. There are, of course, other things like shared values, financial similarities, political inclination, and emotional quotient. Communication is also a key factor, so you really have to decide what works for you.

Arunima Mazumdar is an independent writer. She is @sermoninstone on Twitter and @sermonsinstone on Instagram.