The attention seeker’s attention seeker: Jared Leto climbs the Empire State Building | Film

The end of the Sag-Aftra strike is undoubtedly a good thing for the film industry. With all its component parts pushing in the same direction for the first time in several months, Hollywood can once again try to restore some of its pre-pandemic glory. But it’s also good for the actors.

With the strike over, actors can at last discuss their work. For example, In the last few hours Lily Gladstone has just written an 11-tweet thread warning Native American women and youth about the amount of generational grief they might have to notice watching Killers of the Flower Moon; something she has clearly been aching to do for several months.

Most importantly, however, the end of the strike means that Jared Leto can start doing normal interviews again, instead of having to literally climb the Empire State Building for attention. I am telling you this because Leto has just literally climbed the Empire State Building for attention.

At this point you may be asking yourself a number of questions. The short answer to all of them is “for attention”. But the longer answers are as follows: on Thursday Leto climbed the Empire State Building, apparently becoming the first person ever to do it, because his band is going on tour soon. A real line from an actual press release that was genuinely sent out by Live Nation said: “Having always been fascinated with the incredible landmark since he was a child, [Leto] said ‘The building is a testament of all the things that can be done in the world if we put our minds to it, which is largely the inspiration behind our most recent album, It’s the End of the World But It’s a Beautiful Day.’”

Which does make some degree of sense. I haven’t heard It’s the End of the World But It’s a Beautiful Day, but from this statement I can reasonably assume that it is either a concept album about the strength of collective achievement, or a stroppy little tantrum about how terrible it is when nobody looks at you for five minutes.

But maybe there’s something else going on here. After all, his band Thirty Seconds to Mars has plenty of fans, so they would have probably sold the same amount of tickets by sending out an email. And let’s not forget that Leto is a perennial fan of high-concept nonsense, so let’s run through the options.

Option one: Leto is going to play King Kong. Don’t rule this out. Over the years Leto has gained notoriety for indulging all the most obnoxious quirks of the method acting process. So the obvious rationale for the Empire State Building stunt is that he’s going to play King Kong in an upcoming Oscar-bait drama called Monkey Trauma or something. Look out for other telltale signs that this is the case. Is Leto hairier than usual? Has he started a zero-sum feud with a giant atomic lizard? Has he kidnapped any girls? These are all important clues.

Option two: Leto wants to be in a Mission: Impossible film. This is plausible. Your first thought upon seeing Leto climb the Empire State Building was likely to be: “Give it a rest mate, you’re not Tom Cruise.” Because if anyone was ever going to climb the Empire State Building, it’s Cruise, except Cruise would do it without a harness and on fire. But perhaps this is part of the plan. Everyone knows that the last Mission: Impossible film didn’t do as well as expected in cinemas. And the last time this happened (with Mission: Impossible III) Paramount reacted by drafting in Jeremy Renner for Mission: Impossible IV as a potential replacement for Cruise. Perhaps this stunt is Leto’s way of showing Hollywood that he is Cruise’s true successor and as such deserves a role in the next Mission: Impossible film. Hopefully this isn’t true, though, on account of the fact that it is easily the worst idea of all time.

Option three: Leto is just doing this for attention. Ah, you’re right, it is this one, isn’t it. Leto climbed the Empire State Building because he starts freaking out if people don’t look at him for a while. Someone get the poor love on a talkshow, stat.

The end of the Sag-Aftra strike is undoubtedly a good thing for the film industry. With all its component parts pushing in the same direction for the first time in several months, Hollywood can once again try to restore some of its pre-pandemic glory. But it’s also good for the actors.

With the strike over, actors can at last discuss their work. For example, In the last few hours Lily Gladstone has just written an 11-tweet thread warning Native American women and youth about the amount of generational grief they might have to notice watching Killers of the Flower Moon; something she has clearly been aching to do for several months.

Most importantly, however, the end of the strike means that Jared Leto can start doing normal interviews again, instead of having to literally climb the Empire State Building for attention. I am telling you this because Leto has just literally climbed the Empire State Building for attention.

At this point you may be asking yourself a number of questions. The short answer to all of them is “for attention”. But the longer answers are as follows: on Thursday Leto climbed the Empire State Building, apparently becoming the first person ever to do it, because his band is going on tour soon. A real line from an actual press release that was genuinely sent out by Live Nation said: “Having always been fascinated with the incredible landmark since he was a child, [Leto] said ‘The building is a testament of all the things that can be done in the world if we put our minds to it, which is largely the inspiration behind our most recent album, It’s the End of the World But It’s a Beautiful Day.’”

Which does make some degree of sense. I haven’t heard It’s the End of the World But It’s a Beautiful Day, but from this statement I can reasonably assume that it is either a concept album about the strength of collective achievement, or a stroppy little tantrum about how terrible it is when nobody looks at you for five minutes.

But maybe there’s something else going on here. After all, his band Thirty Seconds to Mars has plenty of fans, so they would have probably sold the same amount of tickets by sending out an email. And let’s not forget that Leto is a perennial fan of high-concept nonsense, so let’s run through the options.

Option one: Leto is going to play King Kong. Don’t rule this out. Over the years Leto has gained notoriety for indulging all the most obnoxious quirks of the method acting process. So the obvious rationale for the Empire State Building stunt is that he’s going to play King Kong in an upcoming Oscar-bait drama called Monkey Trauma or something. Look out for other telltale signs that this is the case. Is Leto hairier than usual? Has he started a zero-sum feud with a giant atomic lizard? Has he kidnapped any girls? These are all important clues.

Option two: Leto wants to be in a Mission: Impossible film. This is plausible. Your first thought upon seeing Leto climb the Empire State Building was likely to be: “Give it a rest mate, you’re not Tom Cruise.” Because if anyone was ever going to climb the Empire State Building, it’s Cruise, except Cruise would do it without a harness and on fire. But perhaps this is part of the plan. Everyone knows that the last Mission: Impossible film didn’t do as well as expected in cinemas. And the last time this happened (with Mission: Impossible III) Paramount reacted by drafting in Jeremy Renner for Mission: Impossible IV as a potential replacement for Cruise. Perhaps this stunt is Leto’s way of showing Hollywood that he is Cruise’s true successor and as such deserves a role in the next Mission: Impossible film. Hopefully this isn’t true, though, on account of the fact that it is easily the worst idea of all time.

Option three: Leto is just doing this for attention. Ah, you’re right, it is this one, isn’t it. Leto climbed the Empire State Building because he starts freaking out if people don’t look at him for a while. Someone get the poor love on a talkshow, stat.